This has been an incredible month for me. Somehow I feel as if some old hindrances in my spiritual life, hindrances I can only partially identify, have by the grace of God simply fallen away. I have had a persistent sense of the need to be watchful, the need to be aware of my spiritual surroundings, the need regularly assessing my spiritual condition. That last phrase seems a little dangerous to me, smacking of morbid self-regard, but I'm going to stick with it. The key is to remember that all my springs are in the Lord of Heaven and earth, not in my own speculations or fevered attempts at self-improvement.
Maybe I should explain that comment further. I know people who are locked in self-assessment, striving earnestly to improve themselves, and yet one senses that they are simply running in circles. I see this tendency in many sorts of people, both Christians and unbelievers. The key, I think, is not (as I once believed) never to assess, never to look upon one's life in critical regard, but to see oneself with God's sight. And the key is not "self-improvement." The key is not striving and struggling, but abiding. Remembering the way of the Lord and being alert to my own tendency to drift, to wander, to stray from "the good way." (Jer. 6:16)
So, yes, self-assessment. But not only that, but trying to be alert to the guiding voice of God. What are you doing here and now God. Where would you have me go, what would you have me say? Also, I have begun to write down my prayers again, which has been a blessing, and has helped me to be more organized and focused in my prayer life.
So this past month has seemed, as I started out to say, like a time of release from hindrance, a time of restoration. Yesterday in church we had a healing service. Laurie and I prayed for several people at the end of the service. For Susan, who has suffered from migraines for 35 years. For Monique, who has been having trouble with her ovaries. For Renee, for restoration of her marriage and forgiveness for the way she's been treating her husband. For Angela, for healing from addiction and restoration of her family (her kids have been removed by the state authorities). I mention these names just in case anyone reading this might feel an anointing to pray for any of them.